The Television is the Devil

Ok first of all, just ignore the fact that I'm sitting in front of the laptop typing this instead of doing any one of the countless things that I need to do today. I'm a professional procrastinator, remember? Ironically, this blog is about getting up off your duff and getting stuff done--which I am clearly not doing at the moment. Regardless...

I have decided that the television is evil. During the day anyway. In the evenings, for the most part, it is for sports (ok, ok, and the Disney Channel). In my house anyway. Most of the time. But during the day it is nothing but a distraction that keeps us (read: me) away from doing the things that I need to do. Even if it's just the friggen Weather Channel, if it's on while I'm home and up, I find myself staring at it. I'm no better than my children whom I complain about when they sit staring, mesmorized by the stupid thing.

I used to change the channel at 9am when Mike & Mike went off. I'd flip over to the Weather Channel to see what was going on, because I'm a weather geek AND because I can't stand Skip Bayless who is on the show that comes on ESPN2 after M&M goes off. Well, I've noticed that recently, the Weather Channel has been sucking me in. I'm either fascinated by all the snow out East that my brother-in-law is doubtlessly enjoying or I'm waiting/watching/hoping & praying for the temps around here to slowly begin to climb. (Please God, soon mkay?) Either way, I'll stop in the hallway and stare at the thing and then next thing you know, I'm sitting and petting one of the dogs. Next thing you know...bam! Two hours are gone. Really?

So back to my normal rountine. TV is off at 9am. Period. (Well, except for during March Madness and when the Cubs are on...lol, look I'm already giving myself an out.) My music comes on the computer (the next blog pertains to this...ohhhh I'm such a teaseeee!) and I'm determined to be more productive. There. I've said it out loud (sorta) so now I have to stick to it, right? Right.

I'm Alive and I'm Free, Who Wouldn't Wanna Be Me?

Ashley posted a blog recently (which you should read, btw) shortly after a conversation she and I had in the car one evening about music and concerts and how they affect us (she & I) more than most people. She described what music means to her (and me) perfectly. She said that it fills a hole inside and is healing and holds memories and feelings that can't be expressed with words. All of this is true. Most people like music because of a beat or maybe some lyrics. But music is so way much more than that. Music lifts my mood and motivates me. A bad day can be completely turned around by some good music. It gives me perspective and joy and provides an escape at times too. When you need a little time to get away from your daily trials and stress and you just can't seem to get your mind off of your problems, nothing distracts and gives you that time away like certain songs can.

Not all songs are created equal. I have a playlist of songs online of songs that lift my heart. It's quite diverse, including everything from Buckcherry to Jake Owen to Jay Sean to the Jonas Brothers. I know, right? It is a fluid playlist. Some songs are better suited for my "day off" playlist than others. And as new songs arrive on the scene that make my heart float, they find their way onto my playlist and some lesser-suited songs are removed. Music is such a blessing to me and I truly feel sorry for people who don't "get it" and who don't have such a blessing in their lives.

Ok, but so the point of this blog isn't music itself...it is concerts. I had a conversation recently with someone who criticized me for going to concerts to see the same people/groups over and over. This person couldn't figure out why in the world I would go see the same person and hear the same songs all over again. I tried explaining that each concert is different and that yes some of the songs are the same but that different ones are played in there each time as well. They didn't buy it. And then I began to try to tell this person about the fact that it's not just the music that you go for...rather, it's the experience. The party. The uplifting of your spirit. The escape. And often-times, the road trip. The fun bonding time you share with the person/people you go with. Ohhh the stories...lol. I stopped because I realized that no matter what I said, no matter what words I used to try to explain how concerts made me feel, I wasn't going to be able to properly put it into words that this person would understand. Not because they are incapable, but because it's impossible to put such feelings into words. Either you get it or you don't. And you can't make someone understand how this feels. And just because they don't "get it" or understand why you do something, doesn't mean it's wrong. Each person is different and different things motivate us or lift us up.

I remember driving home from my first Keith Urban concert with my sister Jackie. She was so thrilled that that night was so life-changing for me. She was excited that she had come across someone else who "got it" like she did when it came to Keith's shows. It wasn't like I suddenly got it that night tho. I've been a concert goer since I was a freshman in high school. And in more recent years, had been to many (mostly Sammy Hagar) concerts with Billy. He goes to concerts to see the show and hear the music that he likes. And that is certainly part of it. But that is not the main reason I go. That is not the reason Jackie goes. And...I have learned that that is not the reason that Ashley goes. Jackie and I realized that night that she and I shared the same experience. Like really. Neither she nor I had ever gone to a concert with someone who shared that before.

I realized this potential in Ashley a few years ago. I blogged about it on myspace back when it happened. We were driving home from church one Sunday morning and I went to say something to her and looked over at her and she had her eyes closed and was softly singing one of her favorite songs that happened to be playing in the Blazer at the time. I was astounded. I about broke down crying right there. I saw on her face that she was immursed in the song. She was feeling the emotion of the song. She "got it." And so I began taking her to concerts with me. With us. Jackie and I have taken her along to many (seven, if you're counting) Keith Urban concerts now and she and I have gone to many other concerts together as well. She gets it. She gets that it's not just some songs being performed that you've heard a million times already. It's the entire experience. The trips there and home. The stage show. The amazing guitar solos. The talking between songs. The party atmosphere. The escape. The time away from your daily stress and problems. Time to just dance and sing your heart out. Time to just enjoy it all and be yourself...your true self. Not somebody's mom, or co-worker, or ride home from the game. It's time to let your soul, your spirit, dance and sing.

I feel sorry for people who don't have an outlet like this in their lives. How boring and sad their lives must be. Everybody needs time away. Time to let their heart sing. I am blessed to have music and concerts in my life. And I am even more blessed to have people in my life who "get it"...who understand what they mean to me and share in the true experience with me.

Take 'em by the hand, don't let 'em all fly by

I just returned from my yearly oncologist appointment. And my eight year anniversary of my cancer diagnosis is coming up in a couple of weeks. So naturally I find myself reflective on this whole experience and what it's done brought to my life. The single-most important change in my life since that day in 2002 when I was told that I had cancer was the realization that I wasn't living my life to the fullest. I wasn't out there going and doing and creating memories. I was "getting through" each day, week, year. Incredible events had occurred in my life, to be sure. The birth of my children each being the two best days of my life. Wonderful, life-changing events. But life became more difficult after that. Sleepier, workier, harder. Definately more wonderful. Having children was the best decision I've ever made. They bring so much love and joy and laughter into my life. But that doesn't mean it's easy. Days, weeks & years became a blur. Events & memories almost non-existent.

Once I realized I wasn't going to die anytime soon from my cancer, I began to realize that the years were flying by and I needed to start living it. I needed to start trying to make every second count. I needed to start creating memories. I began to embrace the people and things that made me happy. Thowing myself into them. I began doing more fun things and taking more risks. You're only given so much time here on earth and you'd better make the best of that time before it's gone.

As my children have grown more, I've started making a point of creating memories with them. Vacations, fun little trips, concerts, baseball and basketball games...all things we enjoy and can have fun doing together. Taking the time to stop and see things and not hurry past them because we're trying to "make good time" getting somewhere. These opportunities may never come again.

Our trip to Boston was most definately one of the biggest memory-makers we've done. That trip is something that none of us will ever forget. But memory-makers don't have to be huge, planned-out, expensive things. Last year when driving home from a mini-vacation to Iowa (to visit the Field of Dreams again), we took a winding two-lane road home that followed the Mississippi River along the Illinois/Iowa border. We passed through many small towns, sang along with the music on the radio and stopped to watch the sun set on the great river while trying to skip rocks along the water. So these times don't have to be huge expensive events. Sometime it's just simple things, experienced together, that can create a memory.

Another significant example of creating memories is my concerts with Jackie and Ashley. My daughter has been to eighteen concerts (and counting) and she doesn't even have her driver's license yet. She and I share a passion for music and concerts, so this is something that she and I can do together. And believe me...we create lots and lots of funny, crazy, amazing memories together! I would share some of them here, but really only she, and maybe my sister Jackie, would understand the funniness or significance of the memory. But that's the point, isn't it? Creating special memories with the people that we cherish in our lives?

Live each day, don't just survive it. Cherish each moment and create memories with those that you love. You don't have as much time as you think, and if you keep putting it off...suddenly the time is gone. Do it. Start today.

Days Go By
by Keith Urban

I'm changing lanes
I'm talking on the phone
I'm drivin' way to fast
And the interstate's jammed with
Gunners like me afraid of coming in last

But somewhere in the race we run
We're coming undone

Days go by
I can feel 'em flying
Like a hand out the window in the wind as the cars go by
It's all we've been given
So you better start livin' right now
'Cause days go by

Out on the roof just the other night
I watched the world flash by
Headlights, taillights running through a river of neon signs

But somewhere in the rush I felt
We're losing ourselves

Days go by
I can feel 'em flying
Like a hand out the window in the wind as the cars go by
It's all we've been given
So you better start livin' right now'Cause days go by

We think about tomorrow then it slips away
We talk about forever but we've only got today

Days go by
I can feel 'em flying
Like a hand out the window in the wind as the cars go by
It's all we've been given
So you better start livin' right now
'Cause days go by

It's all we've been given
So you better start livin'
You better start livin'
Better start livin' right now

'Cause days go by
I can feel like 'em flying
Like a hand out the window in the wind as the cars go by
It's all we've been given
So you better start livin' right now
'Cause days go by
These days go by

So take 'em by the hand
They're yours and mine
Take 'em by the hand
And live your life
Take 'em by the hand
Don't let 'em all fly by
Come on, Come on now

Don't you know the days go by

Where Are You Now?

To my favorite teacher, told me never give up
To my 5th grade crush, who I thought I really loved
To the guys I miss, and the girls we kissed
Where are you now?

To my ex best friend, don't know how we grew apart
To my favorite band, and sing alongs in my car
To the face I see, in my memories
Where are you now?

Where are you now?
Cuz I'm thinking of you
You showed me how
How to live like I do
If it wasn't for you I would never be who I am

To my first girlfriend, I thought for sure was the one
To my last girlfriend, sorry that I screwed it up
To the ones I loved and didn't show it enough
Where are you now?

Where are you now?
Cuz I'm thinking of you
You showed me how
How to live like I do
If it wasn't for you I would never be who I am

I know I'll never see those days again
And things will never be that way again
But that's just how it goes
People change, but I know
I won't forget you

To the ones who cared and who were there from the start
To the love that left, and took a piece of my heart
To the few who'd swear, I'd never go anywhere
Where are you now?

Where are you now?
Cuz I'm thinking of you
You showed me how
How to live like I do
If it wasn't for you I would never be who I am

If it wasn't for you I would never be who I am
If it wasn't for you I'd be nothing
Where are you now?


These are the lyrics to a song from 2009 by the group Honor Society. Pretty amazing lyrics if you think about it and apply them to your own life. Think about all the people who have touched your life in some way--however small--and have affected who you are today. Teachers, coaches, family members, friends, crushes, coworkers, boy/girlfriends, favorite musicians, internet friends, athletes we like, people you are waiting in line with even. They all affect our lives and help to shape who we are. Mostly for the good, but sometimes in a negative way as well. We can't help but be affected by their touch on our lives.

Teachers or coaches who believed in you (or didn't) have a big affect on you. You'll probably never see most of your teachers/professors/coaches again but I'll bet that there is at least one who had an affect on your life. And maybe not because of something they taught you in class. Friends, especially the ones we make in high school or college, have a strong affect on the person we become. This is a huge one. During those eight years we are figuring out who we are and what we stand for and who we are going to be. All of these people help shape who we are for sure. It's so easy to lose touch with these friends after graduation and when life gets busy and gets in the way. But that doesn't mean that you don't think about them and wonder what they're doing and hope that they're ok.

I've kept in touch with a couple of friends, but for the most part I've lost touch with most people who were in my life 20 years ago. In the past couple of years, through Facebook, I have reconnected with a few friends from school who were important in my youth. Oh, make no mistake, I've reconnected with lots of old classmates, but there are a select few who stand out. Who had an impact on my life. Whom I have thought about over the years and always wondered what they're doing and if they're ok. It was only recently, while reconnecting with these special few friends, that I realized what an impact they had on my life and future friendships/relationships. Each of these people affected my life and probably none of them realize to what extent.

Each person in our past is part of a memory. Mostly good. Some bad. All memorable. We carry those memories and those people around with us every day. When we see them or talk with them, the memories--and the feelings surrounding them--resurface. Don't think for a second that you are not part of someone's memories. You are. And for that reason, we all must remember how profoundly we affect each others lives every day.

Pay It Forward

I have so much to write about and so little time, it seems, to get all of my thoughts down in readable form. Frustrating! Regardless, I'm taking time to put these thoughts down 1) because I was reminded this afternoon about something that happened a month ago that prompted this particular blog idea and 2) because I don't feel like doing the other tasks on my list for this afternoon. My blog has become a reason to procrastinate...like I needed a reason.

Back in December, a friend of mine posted on her Facebook page that the woman in front of her at the Starbucks drive-thru generously paid for her order and told the person working at the window to wish her a Merry Christmas. It made her day. The unprompted generosity of this woman brought her to tears. Reading her post, I was moved by the idea. And decided right then that these little acts of kindness needed to become a habit. And not just at Christmas-time. All year round.

I decided to take action. About a week later I was in the drive-thru at McDonald's and decided to act. I paid for the girl behind me's order. The cashier didn't blink twice when I asked if I could do that, making me think that maybe this idea isn't as rare as I thought. I hope not. Waiting in line, looking at the girl in the car behind me, she looked to be about 20, driving a clearly used car and had a school parking sticker in the window. I imagine she was a college student getting her morning breafast and dose of caffeine. She had no idea what was coming and it made me feel pretty good inside knowing that I was about to surprise her with a free breakfast.

A coworker of mine suggested an idea to me for another act. She said that she was driving by our work and saw a group of people standing out on the sidewalk across the street from our building having a smoke break. In the rain. She stopped, got the umbrella out of her back seat and gave it to them. Then drove away. Saw the need and met it.

Randomly, out of the kindness of you heart and without thanks expected in return, we should all see the simple needs in other's lives and meet them. The phrases "pay it forward" and "random act of kindness" have been so overused in our society in recent years that everybody just sort-of blows over them now when we read or hear about them. But if we stop just reading about them and actually perform them, then they become real to us. And you don't have to wait to come across someone stranded with a flat tire on the side of the road. If an opportunity doesn't come along, you can create one of your own. Like I did. Oh we're all so busy and stressed and preoccupied with our own problems!!!! It costs you almost nothing in money or time to do something like this, but it will make you feel like a million bucks--not to mention how it will make your recipient feel. And hopefully they will return the favor to someone they come across. Imagine if everyone started doing these things? Just being aware of other's needs and being thoughtful enough to meet them. Simple, huh?

Starting Over

Ok, so I've had an account here for awhile in order to follow and read my daughter's blogs. AND I've blogged over the years on myspace and posted "notes" on facebook. I decided today that I should have some central place for all of this and so you have this, my first blog here.

Today is a very special day. January 4th will forever be etched in my and Ashley's minds as a wonderful, eventful, fun, amazing day despite it's place smack dab in the middle of the cold of winter. One year ago today, on January 4th, 2009, Ashley and I roadtripped it to Nashville, TN to the historic Ryman Auditorium to see a special one-night only concert dubbed "Jonas Brothers and Friends." Several months prior, I had promised her that I would take her to see the JoBros the next time they toured and right before Christmas they announced this special concert. I suprprised her with tickets that I paid too much for (but like that is anything new) and off we went. Cold, gray and gloomy, we set off in my dad's car warming ourselves with laughter and music all the way down to TN, arguing with "Jen," our Garmin tour guide. No worries, eventually Jen saw things my way and took us right to our hotel in downtown Nashville.

It was warm and rainy. We drove around a bit, visited the Vanderbilt University campus (where we did not get caught by the police trying to break into Memorial Gymnasium), then decided to walk around the music district of Nashville a bit before heading to the auditorium. It was all so colorful and musical. I wish we had had more time to spend there but we were on a tight schedule. Rain-drenched, we stood outside the auditorium waiting for the doors to open and trying to control our hearts everytime a group of girls started screaming for some random reason. Those screams can be pretty unnerving the first few times you hear them. You feel like you're missing out on something fantastic and want to go see! You soon realize that it is either nothing...or by the time you get there, you'll have missed whatever great thing it was that they were screaming at.

When we got inside, we were astounded at how small the place was. AND at how close our seats were. We sat there in anticipation, nearly hyperventilating in the last few minutes before the show started. The concert was amazing. Any words I put down here will simply not do it justice. The boys played lots of their songs, covered several well-known songs including "Superstition" by Stevie Wonder and Tom Petty's "Free Fallin" (be still my heart), and also shared the stage that night with a diverse group of artists. i.e. the "Friends" part. We saw Faith Hill and Tim McGraw and the boys performed with Vince Gill, Amy Grant, Michael W. Smith, Phil Vasser, Martina McBride, Steven Curtis Chapman, Brad Paisley, Jordin Sparks and they introduced the world to the group Honor Society (who knew?). Each person would come out and they all would sing a Jonas Brothers song and a song or two of the guests'.

Ashley and I stood there 28 years apart in age but exactly the same on the inside. Singing and screaming and dancing and enjoying the music and the atmosphere. After the show, we weren't so much sad that it was all over as we were amazed at what we had just seen. We got back to our hotel room, made a few excited phone calls, then lay in bed for probably an hour talking about what we had just experienced.

The early-morning wake up came too soon and bleary-eyed we headed off on our return trip back to IL. Caffeine and music kept us awake and made the trip go by quicker. We have been to lots of concerts together, some close just in Peoria and some hours and hours away like this one and I think that we both agree that the ones that require roadtrips are the best. Yes, you lose sleep and are wiped out the next day, but the road trip there--or sometimes back as my sister Jackie can attest to--oftentimes makes the trip. The concert experience is enhanced by the time together in the car excitedly talking (and singing) in anticipation or talking (and singing) in remembrance.

One year ago today Ashley and I shared what is easily one of the best days of my entire life. Yes, the concert (our first JoBro concert and our introduction to Honor Society) was amazing and unforgettable. However, those 36 hours shared with anyone else simply would not have been the same. It was one of the best days and concerts of my life because I shared it with Ashley. Making memories that we will have with us forever. Ashley, I love you.