Pshh, It Happens

"Life don't go quite like you planned it
We try so hard to understand it
The irrefutable, indisputable fact is
Pshh It happens"

~ Sugarland



I remember my very first sane thoughts after the disaster that struck our family.  Always going back to a baseball analogy, I thought to myself that the difference between major league baseball players and the guys who never make it to the show is their ability to deal with the curveball.  And so it is in life as well.

I did not write much after that night in 2012 when we learned that our world had been turned upside down.  There are so many reasons why.  It would have been difficult to put into words that accurately describe all the feelings I felt.  So many of the feelings I felt were not nice feelings.  I was avoiding thinking about my feelings and trying so hard to focus on staying positive for my family and keeping everyone looking forward and not back.  There was no point.  We were defeated.  Why focus on things we cannot change?  I needed to keep us focused on solving our problems and moving forward.  I could go on and on.

But mostly, I wasn't sure what to say about it.  I have spent hours wondering, thinking, and  trying to figure out why this happened to us over the years.  People and places that felt comfortable and friendly and like home, who we thought we could trust, were just gone.  We lost friends, there were rumors, and at times I felt out-of-place in a place that had always been the entire definition of "home."

After the immediate realization of the crisis and what it all meant, I felt an unusual peace.  I have been called a professional worrier in the past.  In this situation, I was the calm, reasonable, forward-focused one.  Weird, right?  Nothing other than God could have given me that peace about our future. Over the years, I have come to realize that God's hand was moving in our lives.  He forced a move, although in a bit of a painful way, that we would have never made on our own.  He made it happen whether we liked it or not.  Things got back to the way they were supposed to be all along.  The hurt and scars are still there, but we truly are better off.  I guess the whole point of this then is that when we go through difficult times in our lives, we need to trust God's process and trust that His plan is moving you to a better place physically, financially and/or spiritually.  I am reminded of Genesis 50:20 that says:  "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done..."  

Curveballs come your way in life.  They just do.  How you deal with them and Who you trust makes all the difference in how the game turns out.

Hit Me With Your Best Shot

I was a few days behind with my daily devotional that I am reading this year and boy am I glad.  The family that I wrote about in my previous post, who lost their son just after the new year, has experienced another unimaginable loss.  My heart breaks when I think about all that they have faced and are now, again, having to deal with.  Again, we ask "why?"

Our pastor is currently preaching about why bad things happen to good people, and remaining strong in your faith through trials and persecution and outside influences.  He is a wonderful teaching preacher and I learn so much from his sermons.  But it was another point-of-view that really turned things around for me today when I read the devotion from a few days ago, trying to get back on track.

The title is "Take Your Best Shot" and it is about Job.  As you may or may not know, Job was allowed to be tested beyond what you or I could even imagine happening to us.  He lost everything.  E-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g.  And yet he remained true to God and to his faith.  The core of the devotion for that day reads:

The only thing more frightening to me than 

knowing the devil is prowling around looking for people 

is the idea that God sometimes points out His guys that the 

devil may have missed! Satan never went for Job because 

he didn't think he had a shot with him, but God 

put so much trust in Job that he basically said,

"Take your best shot!"

I was blown away by this point of view.  It had never occurred to me that God might be allowing these things to happen to this family because of their strong faith.  Kind of like at work when I used to be put in the most difficult department on the busiest night because my boss at the time knew I was the only person who could handle it.  

Am I a strong enough Christian that God would not think twice about putting all of His faith and trust in me?  Are you?  

Please pray for peace and comfort and patience as this family works through their grief and as God completes the work He is doing in their lives.

These Hard Times

"Say goodbye, these days have gone
And we can't keep holding on
When all we need is some relief
Through these hard times"
~Matchbox Twenty

I cannot even begin to understand why some things happen.  Little Maddy was 4 years old and spent most of his life fighting for it.  He passed away two days ago, on Jan 8th, 2014.  I cannot imagine what his sweet parents are going through.  I fall apart every time I try to comprehend what they are dealing with and wonder how in the world they will move forward from this.  Nothing on this earth could repair my heart.  And that is exactly the point.  

Childhood cancer is probably the most awful thing.  Children dying and parents having to bury their children seems to me to be the worst thing for a person to have to endure.  It has always been my biggest fear. But of course there is tragedy all around us.  Unexplainable sadness, loss, injustices and grief touches all of us.  "Why?" is often the biggest question that people ask during these times.  What in the world could be the reason for ending the life of a sweet 4 year old boy and breaking his family's heart forever?  

On the day that Maddy passed away, my devotional addressed difficult times.  

"When times get difficult, we often seek 

God for the easy way out.  Easy means that 

someone waves a wand and poof, 

it's done, fixed, no more trouble."

It goes on to say that we pray for the "fix" but God doesn't always give us the easy way out.  Not because He can't perform the miracle, but because he knows best what we need.  The solution to our troubles may not be easy, and certainly in some situations not at all what we would want to happen, but we need to remember that God is in control.  I cannot comprehend why this happened to Maddy and his family, but there simply has to be some reason.  Some higher purpose.  God has a divine plan.  

The devotional ends with this prayer:

"Dear Lord, please help me to rest assured 

that You are going before me and that when 

I call on You, You will help me.  Thank You for 

growing me during these hard times."