Pshh, It Happens

"Life don't go quite like you planned it
We try so hard to understand it
The irrefutable, indisputable fact is
Pshh It happens"

~ Sugarland



I remember my very first sane thoughts after the disaster that struck our family.  Always going back to a baseball analogy, I thought to myself that the difference between major league baseball players and the guys who never make it to the show is their ability to deal with the curveball.  And so it is in life as well.

I did not write much after that night in 2012 when we learned that our world had been turned upside down.  There are so many reasons why.  It would have been difficult to put into words that accurately describe all the feelings I felt.  So many of the feelings I felt were not nice feelings.  I was avoiding thinking about my feelings and trying so hard to focus on staying positive for my family and keeping everyone looking forward and not back.  There was no point.  We were defeated.  Why focus on things we cannot change?  I needed to keep us focused on solving our problems and moving forward.  I could go on and on.

But mostly, I wasn't sure what to say about it.  I have spent hours wondering, thinking, and  trying to figure out why this happened to us over the years.  People and places that felt comfortable and friendly and like home, who we thought we could trust, were just gone.  We lost friends, there were rumors, and at times I felt out-of-place in a place that had always been the entire definition of "home."

After the immediate realization of the crisis and what it all meant, I felt an unusual peace.  I have been called a professional worrier in the past.  In this situation, I was the calm, reasonable, forward-focused one.  Weird, right?  Nothing other than God could have given me that peace about our future. Over the years, I have come to realize that God's hand was moving in our lives.  He forced a move, although in a bit of a painful way, that we would have never made on our own.  He made it happen whether we liked it or not.  Things got back to the way they were supposed to be all along.  The hurt and scars are still there, but we truly are better off.  I guess the whole point of this then is that when we go through difficult times in our lives, we need to trust God's process and trust that His plan is moving you to a better place physically, financially and/or spiritually.  I am reminded of Genesis 50:20 that says:  "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done..."  

Curveballs come your way in life.  They just do.  How you deal with them and Who you trust makes all the difference in how the game turns out.

Very Last Country Song

"If nobody did nobody wrong
If we knew what we had before it was gone
If every road led back home
This would be the very last country song."

-Sugarland

We all have ups and downs in life.  Some more than others and all different from each other.  My husband quitting work, going back to school, and me being the only source of income just a few years after we got married was stressful.  My miscarriage back in 1995 was unexpected and scary.  My cancer diagnosis in 2002 was extremely frightening and life-changing.  Last summer, with difficult team parents, coaching disagreements, and flat-out lies being told about my husband made the summer of baseball (which I love and look forward to) stressful and disappointing and so not the refuge from daily stress that it usually is.  We've survived all of these stresses and have come through stronger, wiser, and more faithful.

Twenty-twelve has presented me with many new challenges however.  One thing after another has been bombarding me month after month and I made a comment last month to someone that it feels like my life has turned into a country song.  It was a funny comment that made them laugh, but wow it's true. 

In January, my beloved golden girl Kama passed away in my arms.  She had not been herself for little while and we (mostly I) knew it was coming, but that doesn't take away the pain of losing such a special girl.  At the end of March, my husband unexpectedly and wrongfully lost his job.  I could write a whole other blog about this experience, and maybe I will, but suffice to say that the past few months have been an extremely stressful and difficult time for us because of this.  In May, our other golden boy Wrigley was diagnosed with a pigmentary uveitis, which is a genetic and blinding disease common to golden retrievers.  There is nothing we can do but try to slow down the progress of the disease and hope that he passes away of natural causes at a ripe old age before succumbing to the inevitable blindness.  Our only other option is to learn to live with a blind dog.  Which we will do, of course, if necessary.  It just seems like it's one thing after another.  We're half-way through the year and we've had three devastating events.  Of course there is no way I am going to ask "What else could go wrong?" because it inevitably would, and would be much worse.  That's just like asking for trouble.

Luckily, we are surrounded by so many wonderful people who have supported us and encouraged us and continue to do so daily.  Friends, family, a great vet, our pastor and church family...just so many people have been there for us in different ways.   Even just people in passing who take the time to talk or send a text or leave a comment on your Facebook page...they all make a difference more than most people realize.  The point is, regardless of the circumstances of your life, you are only as strong as the people surrounding you.  Thank you to the people who are helping me survive my "country song" type of year.  I love you.

Reflections on Eleven

I realized not long ago that I hadn't posted a blog page in months and months.  My life is so busy with work, sleep, taking care of my family, keeping them organized and keeping up with all of their activities that I just lost track of time and never sat down to put my many thoughts into word.  Changing that with this blog.

I've tought a lot about the past year and all that I've learned.  About myself, about others, about my kids and about life.  I know that I'll forget some (read: many)  things, but here goes....

*  Sometimes leaving something alone is the best path to take.  Especially with kids.  Sometimes the more you try to help, the more stress it causes.  They are capable.  Let them show you.

*  People are going to hurt & disappoint you.  Even the ones you love.  Forgiveness happens daily.  Sometimes hourly...

*  No matter how long it has been since you've been with a true friend, when you're with them again it is just like it was yesterday.

*  No matter how much you try to be better or different or improve yourself, some people will always think of you the same way they always have.  That doesn't mean you can stop trying to be better.

*  I can't be everything to everyone.  No matter how hard I try. 

*  I can't make everyone happy.  No matter how hard I try.

*  Sometimes you're empty.  You can only give and give and give of yourself for so long before you've got nothing left.  Find something that recharges you and replenishes your soul and makes you happy. 

*  Sometimes you just have to let things go.

*  Don't hold other people to the same expectations that you hold yourself to.  

*  Be confident and look people in the eye.  Regardless of how you feel inside.

*  Sometimes the thing that you love causes you stress and pain.  Keep on loving it.  Things will come around eventually.  Everything is temporary.   This too shall pass.

The First and Last Breath Don't Matter, It's All the Ones That Are In-Between

• It's more important to be happy than to be right.
• You can either be happy, or unhappy. Choose happy.
• Live life with an open hand, and open mind, and an open heart.
• Compliment three people every day.
• Watch a sunrise.
• Be the first to say "Hello."
• Don't waste an opportunity to tell someone you love them.
• Treat everyone as you want to be treated.
• Never give up on anybody; miracles happen.
• Remember someone's name.
• Pray not for things, but for wisdom and courage.
• Be tough-minded, but tender hearted.
• Be kinder than you have to be.
• Don't forget that a person's greatest emotional need is to feel appreciated.
• Keep your promises.
• Learn to show cheerfulness even when you don't feel like it.
• Remember that overnight success usually takes 15 years.
• Leave everything better than you found it.
• Remember that winners do what losers don't want to do.
• When you arrive at your job each day, let the first thing you say brighten everyone's day.
• Don't rain on other people's parades.
• Live beneath your means.
• Keep some things to yourself and don't promote havoc by backstabbing people you love.
• Stop rushing past life.
• Let go.
• Whatever it is, if you really want to eat it, eat it!
• Never piss off anyone who has access to you when you're asleep.
• Believe in God.

Credit: www.jaclyn-s.com

It Doesn't Take Talent To Hustle

"It doesn't take talent to hustle" is a quote from H. Jackson Brown that I saw on the back of a competitor's team shirts a year ago at our early-bird travel baseball tournament. It struck me as one of those quotes to remember. I shared it with Billy and he liked it so much that this past Jr. High baseball season he had it on the back of his team's shirts. Talent and natural abilities will only take you so far in sports...or in life. You have to be willing to work hard and hustle. Things won't always come easy for you and you have to know how to work in order to have success--in sports and in life. Sports are one great way for kids to learn such things.

Ashley is playing competitive club volleyball this winter. A couple weeks ago, she brought home a paper that her coach handed out to the team at practice that night. It was about her expectations for the players on the team. I was reading through the list the other day and it occurred to me how nearly everything on the paper could be applied to all of our everyday lives, not just to sports. Some of the things on the list include: be prepared, give 100% all the time, go as hard as you can for as long as you can, challenge each other to become better, hold each other accountable, everybody helps, eat right, and be active and find a way to contribute. All good things for team members to remember, but also for you and I to remember.

At the bottom of the sheet there is this list:

Things That Do Not Require Talent

• Punctuality
• Concentration
• Focus
• Mental Toughness
• Enthusiasm
• Communication
• Effort
• Hustle
• Awareness
• Attitude
• Rest
• Diet
• Patience

People sometimes disregard sports as a frivilous waste of time. I find that so frustrating, not only because I love sports so much, but because when they do that, they set aside the important things that can be learned from sports. Things that we all need to learn in order to be successful in all areas of our lives. No matter what our age or our situation, if we do our best to adhere to these suggestions, we give ourselves a great shot at achieving our goals in school, at work, in our activities and in our relationships with others.

"How do you go from where you are to where you wanna be? And I think you have to have an enthusiasm for life. You have to have a dream, a goal. And you have to be willing to work for it."

~ Jim Valvano

"The price of success is hard work, dedication to the job at hand, and the determination that whether we win or lose, we have applied the best of ourselves to the task at hand."

~ Vince Lombardi

Living Life

Life is not a race--but indeed a journey. Be honest. Work hard. Be choosy. Say "thank you," "I love you," and "great job" to someone each day. Go to church, take time for prayer. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh. Let your handshake mean more than pen and paper. Love your life and what you've been given, it is not accidental--search for your purpose and do it as best you can. Dreaming does matter. It allows you to become that which you aspire to be. Laugh often. Appreciate the little things in life and enjoy them. Some of the best things really are free. Do not worry, less wrinkles are more becoming. Forgive, it frees the soul. Take time for yourself--plan for longevity. Recognize the special people you've been blessed to know. Live for today, enjoy the moment.