These Are The Days We Will Remember

I got a text from my sister recently that really touched my heart and started me thinking. The end result of which is this blog. Some background...my sister and I have gone on lots of concert roadtrips together. Each one has been different, yet each one was a blast. Some of my most favorite memories were created during these trips, one of the funniest being our first concert at the Allstate Arena (probably known to most of you as the Rosemont Horizon). That trip home was better than the concert...and it was a Keith Urban concert, so that's really saying something. Ashley and I have recently been creating roadtrip memories together as well. Our trip to Nashville, and her tendancy to listen to the Mexican music channels on our trips to Chicago just to name two.

So the text. My sister went to Florida again this year with her family for spring break. They drive down and back. The drive home was long and she and I were texting to help her pass the hours. Late in the evening, after texting back & forth most of the day, I get this text from her: "you are fun on a road trip even when you arent with me." I got teary-eyed. It meant so much to me.

Since then, I've been thinking about all the special events that we experience. Concerts, baseball games, races, etc. The events are magnificent. Experiences that cannot be replaced. I saw Dale Earnhardt win the Brickyard 400. With my father. I've been to baseball games at Fenway. With Billy and the kids. I've watched Greg Maddux pitch against Roger Clemens. With them as well. I've seen Keith Urban perform live (looootttss of times). With Jackie and Ashley. I've seen the Jonas Brothers in concert three times. With Ashley. I've visited the Field of Dreams in Iowa three time. With Billy (and the kids after they were born). I've seen J.J. Redick play basketball in person several times. The first time with my friend Jen, who adores him as much as I do. Billy and I have been to lots of concerts together. Last year we saw Creed and Nickleback together. Concerts--as most of you know--are my drug. Ashley shares this passion with me. Billy does not. While those concerts were amazing beyond words (esp the Creed one, like OMG) it wasn't the same experience being there (not to mention the roadtrips there and back) with him and not Ashley.

My point is, that while the events were wonderful and breathtaking and amazing and unique, the best and most significant memories are created from these events because of who I shared them with. Seeing Dale Earnhardt win that race would not have been as significant if I hadn't been with my dad, a huge Earnhardt fan. Seeing J.J. play with Billy isn't nearly the same as seeing him play with Jen. Going to races with anyone but Billy--who loves the sound and feel of the power and speed of those cars as much as I do--just would not be the same. Being at Fenway would not have been quite as amazing if I hadn't been seeing it through Ryan's eyes, a huge Red Sox fan. Seeing Maddux vs. Clemens would not have been as powerful if I hadn't been sharing it with Billy, someone who understood the significance of what we were witnessing. Seeing Keith without Jackie or The JoBros without Ashley (especially that first time) would not be the same at all if I had seen them with anyone else.

There have been a couple of occasions in recent years where Billy has gone to a pro baseball game or a race without me. Each time, he has told me how it just wasn't the same without me there. Aww, how sweet, right? But I think that he really meant that the people he was with didn't appreciate the expreience or didn't share in the experience with him the same way I did.

We can fill our lives with fun things and special events--but in the end, it's who we share them with that makes them significant and memorable. So cherish the moments, but make sure you cherish the people in them more. For it is the people who make the moments precious.

"These are the days we will remember
These are the times that won't come again
The highest of flames become an ember
And you gotta live 'em while you can..."
~Keith Urban

Take 'em by the hand, don't let 'em all fly by

I just returned from my yearly oncologist appointment. And my eight year anniversary of my cancer diagnosis is coming up in a couple of weeks. So naturally I find myself reflective on this whole experience and what it's done brought to my life. The single-most important change in my life since that day in 2002 when I was told that I had cancer was the realization that I wasn't living my life to the fullest. I wasn't out there going and doing and creating memories. I was "getting through" each day, week, year. Incredible events had occurred in my life, to be sure. The birth of my children each being the two best days of my life. Wonderful, life-changing events. But life became more difficult after that. Sleepier, workier, harder. Definately more wonderful. Having children was the best decision I've ever made. They bring so much love and joy and laughter into my life. But that doesn't mean it's easy. Days, weeks & years became a blur. Events & memories almost non-existent.

Once I realized I wasn't going to die anytime soon from my cancer, I began to realize that the years were flying by and I needed to start living it. I needed to start trying to make every second count. I needed to start creating memories. I began to embrace the people and things that made me happy. Thowing myself into them. I began doing more fun things and taking more risks. You're only given so much time here on earth and you'd better make the best of that time before it's gone.

As my children have grown more, I've started making a point of creating memories with them. Vacations, fun little trips, concerts, baseball and basketball games...all things we enjoy and can have fun doing together. Taking the time to stop and see things and not hurry past them because we're trying to "make good time" getting somewhere. These opportunities may never come again.

Our trip to Boston was most definately one of the biggest memory-makers we've done. That trip is something that none of us will ever forget. But memory-makers don't have to be huge, planned-out, expensive things. Last year when driving home from a mini-vacation to Iowa (to visit the Field of Dreams again), we took a winding two-lane road home that followed the Mississippi River along the Illinois/Iowa border. We passed through many small towns, sang along with the music on the radio and stopped to watch the sun set on the great river while trying to skip rocks along the water. So these times don't have to be huge expensive events. Sometime it's just simple things, experienced together, that can create a memory.

Another significant example of creating memories is my concerts with Jackie and Ashley. My daughter has been to eighteen concerts (and counting) and she doesn't even have her driver's license yet. She and I share a passion for music and concerts, so this is something that she and I can do together. And believe me...we create lots and lots of funny, crazy, amazing memories together! I would share some of them here, but really only she, and maybe my sister Jackie, would understand the funniness or significance of the memory. But that's the point, isn't it? Creating special memories with the people that we cherish in our lives?

Live each day, don't just survive it. Cherish each moment and create memories with those that you love. You don't have as much time as you think, and if you keep putting it off...suddenly the time is gone. Do it. Start today.

Days Go By
by Keith Urban

I'm changing lanes
I'm talking on the phone
I'm drivin' way to fast
And the interstate's jammed with
Gunners like me afraid of coming in last

But somewhere in the race we run
We're coming undone

Days go by
I can feel 'em flying
Like a hand out the window in the wind as the cars go by
It's all we've been given
So you better start livin' right now
'Cause days go by

Out on the roof just the other night
I watched the world flash by
Headlights, taillights running through a river of neon signs

But somewhere in the rush I felt
We're losing ourselves

Days go by
I can feel 'em flying
Like a hand out the window in the wind as the cars go by
It's all we've been given
So you better start livin' right now'Cause days go by

We think about tomorrow then it slips away
We talk about forever but we've only got today

Days go by
I can feel 'em flying
Like a hand out the window in the wind as the cars go by
It's all we've been given
So you better start livin' right now
'Cause days go by

It's all we've been given
So you better start livin'
You better start livin'
Better start livin' right now

'Cause days go by
I can feel like 'em flying
Like a hand out the window in the wind as the cars go by
It's all we've been given
So you better start livin' right now
'Cause days go by
These days go by

So take 'em by the hand
They're yours and mine
Take 'em by the hand
And live your life
Take 'em by the hand
Don't let 'em all fly by
Come on, Come on now

Don't you know the days go by

Where Are You Now?

To my favorite teacher, told me never give up
To my 5th grade crush, who I thought I really loved
To the guys I miss, and the girls we kissed
Where are you now?

To my ex best friend, don't know how we grew apart
To my favorite band, and sing alongs in my car
To the face I see, in my memories
Where are you now?

Where are you now?
Cuz I'm thinking of you
You showed me how
How to live like I do
If it wasn't for you I would never be who I am

To my first girlfriend, I thought for sure was the one
To my last girlfriend, sorry that I screwed it up
To the ones I loved and didn't show it enough
Where are you now?

Where are you now?
Cuz I'm thinking of you
You showed me how
How to live like I do
If it wasn't for you I would never be who I am

I know I'll never see those days again
And things will never be that way again
But that's just how it goes
People change, but I know
I won't forget you

To the ones who cared and who were there from the start
To the love that left, and took a piece of my heart
To the few who'd swear, I'd never go anywhere
Where are you now?

Where are you now?
Cuz I'm thinking of you
You showed me how
How to live like I do
If it wasn't for you I would never be who I am

If it wasn't for you I would never be who I am
If it wasn't for you I'd be nothing
Where are you now?


These are the lyrics to a song from 2009 by the group Honor Society. Pretty amazing lyrics if you think about it and apply them to your own life. Think about all the people who have touched your life in some way--however small--and have affected who you are today. Teachers, coaches, family members, friends, crushes, coworkers, boy/girlfriends, favorite musicians, internet friends, athletes we like, people you are waiting in line with even. They all affect our lives and help to shape who we are. Mostly for the good, but sometimes in a negative way as well. We can't help but be affected by their touch on our lives.

Teachers or coaches who believed in you (or didn't) have a big affect on you. You'll probably never see most of your teachers/professors/coaches again but I'll bet that there is at least one who had an affect on your life. And maybe not because of something they taught you in class. Friends, especially the ones we make in high school or college, have a strong affect on the person we become. This is a huge one. During those eight years we are figuring out who we are and what we stand for and who we are going to be. All of these people help shape who we are for sure. It's so easy to lose touch with these friends after graduation and when life gets busy and gets in the way. But that doesn't mean that you don't think about them and wonder what they're doing and hope that they're ok.

I've kept in touch with a couple of friends, but for the most part I've lost touch with most people who were in my life 20 years ago. In the past couple of years, through Facebook, I have reconnected with a few friends from school who were important in my youth. Oh, make no mistake, I've reconnected with lots of old classmates, but there are a select few who stand out. Who had an impact on my life. Whom I have thought about over the years and always wondered what they're doing and if they're ok. It was only recently, while reconnecting with these special few friends, that I realized what an impact they had on my life and future friendships/relationships. Each of these people affected my life and probably none of them realize to what extent.

Each person in our past is part of a memory. Mostly good. Some bad. All memorable. We carry those memories and those people around with us every day. When we see them or talk with them, the memories--and the feelings surrounding them--resurface. Don't think for a second that you are not part of someone's memories. You are. And for that reason, we all must remember how profoundly we affect each others lives every day.