I'm Alive and I'm Free, Who Wouldn't Wanna Be Me?

Ashley posted a blog recently (which you should read, btw) shortly after a conversation she and I had in the car one evening about music and concerts and how they affect us (she & I) more than most people. She described what music means to her (and me) perfectly. She said that it fills a hole inside and is healing and holds memories and feelings that can't be expressed with words. All of this is true. Most people like music because of a beat or maybe some lyrics. But music is so way much more than that. Music lifts my mood and motivates me. A bad day can be completely turned around by some good music. It gives me perspective and joy and provides an escape at times too. When you need a little time to get away from your daily trials and stress and you just can't seem to get your mind off of your problems, nothing distracts and gives you that time away like certain songs can.

Not all songs are created equal. I have a playlist of songs online of songs that lift my heart. It's quite diverse, including everything from Buckcherry to Jake Owen to Jay Sean to the Jonas Brothers. I know, right? It is a fluid playlist. Some songs are better suited for my "day off" playlist than others. And as new songs arrive on the scene that make my heart float, they find their way onto my playlist and some lesser-suited songs are removed. Music is such a blessing to me and I truly feel sorry for people who don't "get it" and who don't have such a blessing in their lives.

Ok, but so the point of this blog isn't music itself...it is concerts. I had a conversation recently with someone who criticized me for going to concerts to see the same people/groups over and over. This person couldn't figure out why in the world I would go see the same person and hear the same songs all over again. I tried explaining that each concert is different and that yes some of the songs are the same but that different ones are played in there each time as well. They didn't buy it. And then I began to try to tell this person about the fact that it's not just the music that you go for...rather, it's the experience. The party. The uplifting of your spirit. The escape. And often-times, the road trip. The fun bonding time you share with the person/people you go with. Ohhh the stories...lol. I stopped because I realized that no matter what I said, no matter what words I used to try to explain how concerts made me feel, I wasn't going to be able to properly put it into words that this person would understand. Not because they are incapable, but because it's impossible to put such feelings into words. Either you get it or you don't. And you can't make someone understand how this feels. And just because they don't "get it" or understand why you do something, doesn't mean it's wrong. Each person is different and different things motivate us or lift us up.

I remember driving home from my first Keith Urban concert with my sister Jackie. She was so thrilled that that night was so life-changing for me. She was excited that she had come across someone else who "got it" like she did when it came to Keith's shows. It wasn't like I suddenly got it that night tho. I've been a concert goer since I was a freshman in high school. And in more recent years, had been to many (mostly Sammy Hagar) concerts with Billy. He goes to concerts to see the show and hear the music that he likes. And that is certainly part of it. But that is not the main reason I go. That is not the reason Jackie goes. And...I have learned that that is not the reason that Ashley goes. Jackie and I realized that night that she and I shared the same experience. Like really. Neither she nor I had ever gone to a concert with someone who shared that before.

I realized this potential in Ashley a few years ago. I blogged about it on myspace back when it happened. We were driving home from church one Sunday morning and I went to say something to her and looked over at her and she had her eyes closed and was softly singing one of her favorite songs that happened to be playing in the Blazer at the time. I was astounded. I about broke down crying right there. I saw on her face that she was immursed in the song. She was feeling the emotion of the song. She "got it." And so I began taking her to concerts with me. With us. Jackie and I have taken her along to many (seven, if you're counting) Keith Urban concerts now and she and I have gone to many other concerts together as well. She gets it. She gets that it's not just some songs being performed that you've heard a million times already. It's the entire experience. The trips there and home. The stage show. The amazing guitar solos. The talking between songs. The party atmosphere. The escape. The time away from your daily stress and problems. Time to just dance and sing your heart out. Time to just enjoy it all and be yourself...your true self. Not somebody's mom, or co-worker, or ride home from the game. It's time to let your soul, your spirit, dance and sing.

I feel sorry for people who don't have an outlet like this in their lives. How boring and sad their lives must be. Everybody needs time away. Time to let their heart sing. I am blessed to have music and concerts in my life. And I am even more blessed to have people in my life who "get it"...who understand what they mean to me and share in the true experience with me.

Starting Over

Ok, so I've had an account here for awhile in order to follow and read my daughter's blogs. AND I've blogged over the years on myspace and posted "notes" on facebook. I decided today that I should have some central place for all of this and so you have this, my first blog here.

Today is a very special day. January 4th will forever be etched in my and Ashley's minds as a wonderful, eventful, fun, amazing day despite it's place smack dab in the middle of the cold of winter. One year ago today, on January 4th, 2009, Ashley and I roadtripped it to Nashville, TN to the historic Ryman Auditorium to see a special one-night only concert dubbed "Jonas Brothers and Friends." Several months prior, I had promised her that I would take her to see the JoBros the next time they toured and right before Christmas they announced this special concert. I suprprised her with tickets that I paid too much for (but like that is anything new) and off we went. Cold, gray and gloomy, we set off in my dad's car warming ourselves with laughter and music all the way down to TN, arguing with "Jen," our Garmin tour guide. No worries, eventually Jen saw things my way and took us right to our hotel in downtown Nashville.

It was warm and rainy. We drove around a bit, visited the Vanderbilt University campus (where we did not get caught by the police trying to break into Memorial Gymnasium), then decided to walk around the music district of Nashville a bit before heading to the auditorium. It was all so colorful and musical. I wish we had had more time to spend there but we were on a tight schedule. Rain-drenched, we stood outside the auditorium waiting for the doors to open and trying to control our hearts everytime a group of girls started screaming for some random reason. Those screams can be pretty unnerving the first few times you hear them. You feel like you're missing out on something fantastic and want to go see! You soon realize that it is either nothing...or by the time you get there, you'll have missed whatever great thing it was that they were screaming at.

When we got inside, we were astounded at how small the place was. AND at how close our seats were. We sat there in anticipation, nearly hyperventilating in the last few minutes before the show started. The concert was amazing. Any words I put down here will simply not do it justice. The boys played lots of their songs, covered several well-known songs including "Superstition" by Stevie Wonder and Tom Petty's "Free Fallin" (be still my heart), and also shared the stage that night with a diverse group of artists. i.e. the "Friends" part. We saw Faith Hill and Tim McGraw and the boys performed with Vince Gill, Amy Grant, Michael W. Smith, Phil Vasser, Martina McBride, Steven Curtis Chapman, Brad Paisley, Jordin Sparks and they introduced the world to the group Honor Society (who knew?). Each person would come out and they all would sing a Jonas Brothers song and a song or two of the guests'.

Ashley and I stood there 28 years apart in age but exactly the same on the inside. Singing and screaming and dancing and enjoying the music and the atmosphere. After the show, we weren't so much sad that it was all over as we were amazed at what we had just seen. We got back to our hotel room, made a few excited phone calls, then lay in bed for probably an hour talking about what we had just experienced.

The early-morning wake up came too soon and bleary-eyed we headed off on our return trip back to IL. Caffeine and music kept us awake and made the trip go by quicker. We have been to lots of concerts together, some close just in Peoria and some hours and hours away like this one and I think that we both agree that the ones that require roadtrips are the best. Yes, you lose sleep and are wiped out the next day, but the road trip there--or sometimes back as my sister Jackie can attest to--oftentimes makes the trip. The concert experience is enhanced by the time together in the car excitedly talking (and singing) in anticipation or talking (and singing) in remembrance.

One year ago today Ashley and I shared what is easily one of the best days of my entire life. Yes, the concert (our first JoBro concert and our introduction to Honor Society) was amazing and unforgettable. However, those 36 hours shared with anyone else simply would not have been the same. It was one of the best days and concerts of my life because I shared it with Ashley. Making memories that we will have with us forever. Ashley, I love you.