These Are The Days We Will Remember

I got a text from my sister recently that really touched my heart and started me thinking. The end result of which is this blog. Some background...my sister and I have gone on lots of concert roadtrips together. Each one has been different, yet each one was a blast. Some of my most favorite memories were created during these trips, one of the funniest being our first concert at the Allstate Arena (probably known to most of you as the Rosemont Horizon). That trip home was better than the concert...and it was a Keith Urban concert, so that's really saying something. Ashley and I have recently been creating roadtrip memories together as well. Our trip to Nashville, and her tendancy to listen to the Mexican music channels on our trips to Chicago just to name two.

So the text. My sister went to Florida again this year with her family for spring break. They drive down and back. The drive home was long and she and I were texting to help her pass the hours. Late in the evening, after texting back & forth most of the day, I get this text from her: "you are fun on a road trip even when you arent with me." I got teary-eyed. It meant so much to me.

Since then, I've been thinking about all the special events that we experience. Concerts, baseball games, races, etc. The events are magnificent. Experiences that cannot be replaced. I saw Dale Earnhardt win the Brickyard 400. With my father. I've been to baseball games at Fenway. With Billy and the kids. I've watched Greg Maddux pitch against Roger Clemens. With them as well. I've seen Keith Urban perform live (looootttss of times). With Jackie and Ashley. I've seen the Jonas Brothers in concert three times. With Ashley. I've visited the Field of Dreams in Iowa three time. With Billy (and the kids after they were born). I've seen J.J. Redick play basketball in person several times. The first time with my friend Jen, who adores him as much as I do. Billy and I have been to lots of concerts together. Last year we saw Creed and Nickleback together. Concerts--as most of you know--are my drug. Ashley shares this passion with me. Billy does not. While those concerts were amazing beyond words (esp the Creed one, like OMG) it wasn't the same experience being there (not to mention the roadtrips there and back) with him and not Ashley.

My point is, that while the events were wonderful and breathtaking and amazing and unique, the best and most significant memories are created from these events because of who I shared them with. Seeing Dale Earnhardt win that race would not have been as significant if I hadn't been with my dad, a huge Earnhardt fan. Seeing J.J. play with Billy isn't nearly the same as seeing him play with Jen. Going to races with anyone but Billy--who loves the sound and feel of the power and speed of those cars as much as I do--just would not be the same. Being at Fenway would not have been quite as amazing if I hadn't been seeing it through Ryan's eyes, a huge Red Sox fan. Seeing Maddux vs. Clemens would not have been as powerful if I hadn't been sharing it with Billy, someone who understood the significance of what we were witnessing. Seeing Keith without Jackie or The JoBros without Ashley (especially that first time) would not be the same at all if I had seen them with anyone else.

There have been a couple of occasions in recent years where Billy has gone to a pro baseball game or a race without me. Each time, he has told me how it just wasn't the same without me there. Aww, how sweet, right? But I think that he really meant that the people he was with didn't appreciate the expreience or didn't share in the experience with him the same way I did.

We can fill our lives with fun things and special events--but in the end, it's who we share them with that makes them significant and memorable. So cherish the moments, but make sure you cherish the people in them more. For it is the people who make the moments precious.

"These are the days we will remember
These are the times that won't come again
The highest of flames become an ember
And you gotta live 'em while you can..."
~Keith Urban

I'm Alive and I'm Free, Who Wouldn't Wanna Be Me?

Ashley posted a blog recently (which you should read, btw) shortly after a conversation she and I had in the car one evening about music and concerts and how they affect us (she & I) more than most people. She described what music means to her (and me) perfectly. She said that it fills a hole inside and is healing and holds memories and feelings that can't be expressed with words. All of this is true. Most people like music because of a beat or maybe some lyrics. But music is so way much more than that. Music lifts my mood and motivates me. A bad day can be completely turned around by some good music. It gives me perspective and joy and provides an escape at times too. When you need a little time to get away from your daily trials and stress and you just can't seem to get your mind off of your problems, nothing distracts and gives you that time away like certain songs can.

Not all songs are created equal. I have a playlist of songs online of songs that lift my heart. It's quite diverse, including everything from Buckcherry to Jake Owen to Jay Sean to the Jonas Brothers. I know, right? It is a fluid playlist. Some songs are better suited for my "day off" playlist than others. And as new songs arrive on the scene that make my heart float, they find their way onto my playlist and some lesser-suited songs are removed. Music is such a blessing to me and I truly feel sorry for people who don't "get it" and who don't have such a blessing in their lives.

Ok, but so the point of this blog isn't music itself...it is concerts. I had a conversation recently with someone who criticized me for going to concerts to see the same people/groups over and over. This person couldn't figure out why in the world I would go see the same person and hear the same songs all over again. I tried explaining that each concert is different and that yes some of the songs are the same but that different ones are played in there each time as well. They didn't buy it. And then I began to try to tell this person about the fact that it's not just the music that you go for...rather, it's the experience. The party. The uplifting of your spirit. The escape. And often-times, the road trip. The fun bonding time you share with the person/people you go with. Ohhh the stories...lol. I stopped because I realized that no matter what I said, no matter what words I used to try to explain how concerts made me feel, I wasn't going to be able to properly put it into words that this person would understand. Not because they are incapable, but because it's impossible to put such feelings into words. Either you get it or you don't. And you can't make someone understand how this feels. And just because they don't "get it" or understand why you do something, doesn't mean it's wrong. Each person is different and different things motivate us or lift us up.

I remember driving home from my first Keith Urban concert with my sister Jackie. She was so thrilled that that night was so life-changing for me. She was excited that she had come across someone else who "got it" like she did when it came to Keith's shows. It wasn't like I suddenly got it that night tho. I've been a concert goer since I was a freshman in high school. And in more recent years, had been to many (mostly Sammy Hagar) concerts with Billy. He goes to concerts to see the show and hear the music that he likes. And that is certainly part of it. But that is not the main reason I go. That is not the reason Jackie goes. And...I have learned that that is not the reason that Ashley goes. Jackie and I realized that night that she and I shared the same experience. Like really. Neither she nor I had ever gone to a concert with someone who shared that before.

I realized this potential in Ashley a few years ago. I blogged about it on myspace back when it happened. We were driving home from church one Sunday morning and I went to say something to her and looked over at her and she had her eyes closed and was softly singing one of her favorite songs that happened to be playing in the Blazer at the time. I was astounded. I about broke down crying right there. I saw on her face that she was immursed in the song. She was feeling the emotion of the song. She "got it." And so I began taking her to concerts with me. With us. Jackie and I have taken her along to many (seven, if you're counting) Keith Urban concerts now and she and I have gone to many other concerts together as well. She gets it. She gets that it's not just some songs being performed that you've heard a million times already. It's the entire experience. The trips there and home. The stage show. The amazing guitar solos. The talking between songs. The party atmosphere. The escape. The time away from your daily stress and problems. Time to just dance and sing your heart out. Time to just enjoy it all and be yourself...your true self. Not somebody's mom, or co-worker, or ride home from the game. It's time to let your soul, your spirit, dance and sing.

I feel sorry for people who don't have an outlet like this in their lives. How boring and sad their lives must be. Everybody needs time away. Time to let their heart sing. I am blessed to have music and concerts in my life. And I am even more blessed to have people in my life who "get it"...who understand what they mean to me and share in the true experience with me.

Take 'em by the hand, don't let 'em all fly by

I just returned from my yearly oncologist appointment. And my eight year anniversary of my cancer diagnosis is coming up in a couple of weeks. So naturally I find myself reflective on this whole experience and what it's done brought to my life. The single-most important change in my life since that day in 2002 when I was told that I had cancer was the realization that I wasn't living my life to the fullest. I wasn't out there going and doing and creating memories. I was "getting through" each day, week, year. Incredible events had occurred in my life, to be sure. The birth of my children each being the two best days of my life. Wonderful, life-changing events. But life became more difficult after that. Sleepier, workier, harder. Definately more wonderful. Having children was the best decision I've ever made. They bring so much love and joy and laughter into my life. But that doesn't mean it's easy. Days, weeks & years became a blur. Events & memories almost non-existent.

Once I realized I wasn't going to die anytime soon from my cancer, I began to realize that the years were flying by and I needed to start living it. I needed to start trying to make every second count. I needed to start creating memories. I began to embrace the people and things that made me happy. Thowing myself into them. I began doing more fun things and taking more risks. You're only given so much time here on earth and you'd better make the best of that time before it's gone.

As my children have grown more, I've started making a point of creating memories with them. Vacations, fun little trips, concerts, baseball and basketball games...all things we enjoy and can have fun doing together. Taking the time to stop and see things and not hurry past them because we're trying to "make good time" getting somewhere. These opportunities may never come again.

Our trip to Boston was most definately one of the biggest memory-makers we've done. That trip is something that none of us will ever forget. But memory-makers don't have to be huge, planned-out, expensive things. Last year when driving home from a mini-vacation to Iowa (to visit the Field of Dreams again), we took a winding two-lane road home that followed the Mississippi River along the Illinois/Iowa border. We passed through many small towns, sang along with the music on the radio and stopped to watch the sun set on the great river while trying to skip rocks along the water. So these times don't have to be huge expensive events. Sometime it's just simple things, experienced together, that can create a memory.

Another significant example of creating memories is my concerts with Jackie and Ashley. My daughter has been to eighteen concerts (and counting) and she doesn't even have her driver's license yet. She and I share a passion for music and concerts, so this is something that she and I can do together. And believe me...we create lots and lots of funny, crazy, amazing memories together! I would share some of them here, but really only she, and maybe my sister Jackie, would understand the funniness or significance of the memory. But that's the point, isn't it? Creating special memories with the people that we cherish in our lives?

Live each day, don't just survive it. Cherish each moment and create memories with those that you love. You don't have as much time as you think, and if you keep putting it off...suddenly the time is gone. Do it. Start today.

Days Go By
by Keith Urban

I'm changing lanes
I'm talking on the phone
I'm drivin' way to fast
And the interstate's jammed with
Gunners like me afraid of coming in last

But somewhere in the race we run
We're coming undone

Days go by
I can feel 'em flying
Like a hand out the window in the wind as the cars go by
It's all we've been given
So you better start livin' right now
'Cause days go by

Out on the roof just the other night
I watched the world flash by
Headlights, taillights running through a river of neon signs

But somewhere in the rush I felt
We're losing ourselves

Days go by
I can feel 'em flying
Like a hand out the window in the wind as the cars go by
It's all we've been given
So you better start livin' right now'Cause days go by

We think about tomorrow then it slips away
We talk about forever but we've only got today

Days go by
I can feel 'em flying
Like a hand out the window in the wind as the cars go by
It's all we've been given
So you better start livin' right now
'Cause days go by

It's all we've been given
So you better start livin'
You better start livin'
Better start livin' right now

'Cause days go by
I can feel like 'em flying
Like a hand out the window in the wind as the cars go by
It's all we've been given
So you better start livin' right now
'Cause days go by
These days go by

So take 'em by the hand
They're yours and mine
Take 'em by the hand
And live your life
Take 'em by the hand
Don't let 'em all fly by
Come on, Come on now

Don't you know the days go by