Dear Sports

In the spring of 2019 when the Covid-19 pandemic hit and all sports just stopped existing, sports fans realized what life without sports was like.  And it was not pretty.  ESPN provided a platform for fans to write a letter to sports to express what we were feeling at the time about our relationship with sports and our thoughts while we were without it.  Many ESPN personalities and regular fans alike participated, including the hashtag #DearSports in their posts on social media.  At the time, I thought what a wonderful topic for me to write about because sports has always been a big part of my life.  Every time I started to put my feelings into words, I became overwhelmed with the prospect of putting my relationship with sports into mere words.  The following is my attempt.

Dear Sports,

Where do I begin?  You and I have been together for literally as long as I can remember.  I have loved you for all of my 5 decades on this earth.  You have given me so much joy and entertainment and have been there for me when I really needed to escape for awhile when life became too much.  You have given me a focus and a purpose and a goal.  You have provided me a connection with family, friends, and at times even perfect strangers.  

When I was young, I remember listening to late-night baseball games on a transistor radio in my bed.  Some of my best memories from when I was young are watching Sunday Night Baseball or the NCAA tournament games with my Dad.  Or listening to the Bradley University basketball games on the radio with him.  I remember watching Bulls games with my mom.  My first live major league game was at Wrigley with my dad.  My first NASCAR race with at Indy with my dad.  Sports were a way for us to connect and something for us to enjoy together.  

When I started playing sports myself, my parents were there in the stands at every single game.  They supported me and encouraged me and loved watching me play.  I still feel a sense of pride about my accomplishments on the court and a strong connection to the Maroon & Gold of my high school team.  

My husband and I have a strong sports connection.  We share a love of all things sports, whether we are pulling for the same team or not.  He proposed to me at Wrigley Field, our honeymoon was to go see a few MLB games.  We have traveled thousands of miles and spent thousands of dollars attending baseball games, basketball games, races, etc.  Our dogs Wrigley, Fenway, and Jacoby (Ellsbury) give evidence to our love and commitment to sports.  We even named our son Ryan after Nolan Ryan.  

And of course, we have passed this love of sports on to our two children.  Vacations have been to major league games.  School calendars and summers have been full of practices and games.  Hours and hours of volleyball, basketball, baseball, and soccer.  And of course we have spent countless hours together in front of the tv watching, rooting, and discussing our beloved sports.  

Sports, you have been a daily part of my life for decades .  You have been woven into every aspect of my life.  You have given me some of my highest highs--2016 Cubs, 2015 Duke Basketball, watching Mark Grace get a World Series ring in 2001, and Kyrie's shot & LeBron's come-out-of-nowhere block in the 2016 NBA Finals--and some of my lowest lows--1984 Cubs, 2003 Cubs, and JJ's Duke team losing to LSU in the tournament, ending his Duke career.  You have been with me always--on the tv or the radio and now, all over the internet on my phone.  I cannot imagine a world without you in it.  And yet--here we are.  

For the past few months I have felt this huge void in my life.  At times, I feel like I am wandering aimlessly, looking for something--for a purpose perhaps--to the hours on my evenings off work.  I have read more books to pass the time, but they are solitary endeavors and I miss the connection with my family and friends.  In the beginning of this, I enjoyed watching all the old games and retrospectives that were being broadcast.  But once those stopped, there were days I never even turned the television on.  What's the point?  I have hundreds of channels, but the one thing I want to watch isn't there.  

I heard a speaker at a graduation ceremony years ago talk about about finding something in your life that you love and feel passionately about. Find that one thing that motivates you and gives you a reason to get up on those days when you'd much rather stay in bed. Find that one thing and throw yourself into it. That is how you can be truly happy.  I realized that even on my worst days, there was always sports.  Until there wasn't.

Now, in July of 2020, we are on the cusp of you returning in earnest.  We got a small taste of you coming back when soccer started playing again.  This week and next week baseball and basketball will be back on my television.  I will be able to watch and root and discuss you again.  

It's crazy how I never even imagined that you would be taken away from me.  That just sounded absurd.  Shut down sports?  Pfft, never happen.  But then it happened.  And the whole saying about not realizing what you have until it's gone hit home in a big way.  Sports, I can't wait to see you again!  And I promise you from the bottom of my heart that I will never ever take you for granted again.  

Love,

Michele

 

Pshh, It Happens

"Life don't go quite like you planned it
We try so hard to understand it
The irrefutable, indisputable fact is
Pshh It happens"

~ Sugarland



I remember my very first sane thoughts after the disaster that struck our family.  Always going back to a baseball analogy, I thought to myself that the difference between major league baseball players and the guys who never make it to the show is their ability to deal with the curveball.  And so it is in life as well.

I did not write much after that night in 2012 when we learned that our world had been turned upside down.  There are so many reasons why.  It would have been difficult to put into words that accurately describe all the feelings I felt.  So many of the feelings I felt were not nice feelings.  I was avoiding thinking about my feelings and trying so hard to focus on staying positive for my family and keeping everyone looking forward and not back.  There was no point.  We were defeated.  Why focus on things we cannot change?  I needed to keep us focused on solving our problems and moving forward.  I could go on and on.

But mostly, I wasn't sure what to say about it.  I have spent hours wondering, thinking, and  trying to figure out why this happened to us over the years.  People and places that felt comfortable and friendly and like home, who we thought we could trust, were just gone.  We lost friends, there were rumors, and at times I felt out-of-place in a place that had always been the entire definition of "home."

After the immediate realization of the crisis and what it all meant, I felt an unusual peace.  I have been called a professional worrier in the past.  In this situation, I was the calm, reasonable, forward-focused one.  Weird, right?  Nothing other than God could have given me that peace about our future. Over the years, I have come to realize that God's hand was moving in our lives.  He forced a move, although in a bit of a painful way, that we would have never made on our own.  He made it happen whether we liked it or not.  Things got back to the way they were supposed to be all along.  The hurt and scars are still there, but we truly are better off.  I guess the whole point of this then is that when we go through difficult times in our lives, we need to trust God's process and trust that His plan is moving you to a better place physically, financially and/or spiritually.  I am reminded of Genesis 50:20 that says:  "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done..."  

Curveballs come your way in life.  They just do.  How you deal with them and Who you trust makes all the difference in how the game turns out.