Where Are You Now?

To my favorite teacher, told me never give up
To my 5th grade crush, who I thought I really loved
To the guys I miss, and the girls we kissed
Where are you now?

To my ex best friend, don't know how we grew apart
To my favorite band, and sing alongs in my car
To the face I see, in my memories
Where are you now?

Where are you now?
Cuz I'm thinking of you
You showed me how
How to live like I do
If it wasn't for you I would never be who I am

To my first girlfriend, I thought for sure was the one
To my last girlfriend, sorry that I screwed it up
To the ones I loved and didn't show it enough
Where are you now?

Where are you now?
Cuz I'm thinking of you
You showed me how
How to live like I do
If it wasn't for you I would never be who I am

I know I'll never see those days again
And things will never be that way again
But that's just how it goes
People change, but I know
I won't forget you

To the ones who cared and who were there from the start
To the love that left, and took a piece of my heart
To the few who'd swear, I'd never go anywhere
Where are you now?

Where are you now?
Cuz I'm thinking of you
You showed me how
How to live like I do
If it wasn't for you I would never be who I am

If it wasn't for you I would never be who I am
If it wasn't for you I'd be nothing
Where are you now?


These are the lyrics to a song from 2009 by the group Honor Society. Pretty amazing lyrics if you think about it and apply them to your own life. Think about all the people who have touched your life in some way--however small--and have affected who you are today. Teachers, coaches, family members, friends, crushes, coworkers, boy/girlfriends, favorite musicians, internet friends, athletes we like, people you are waiting in line with even. They all affect our lives and help to shape who we are. Mostly for the good, but sometimes in a negative way as well. We can't help but be affected by their touch on our lives.

Teachers or coaches who believed in you (or didn't) have a big affect on you. You'll probably never see most of your teachers/professors/coaches again but I'll bet that there is at least one who had an affect on your life. And maybe not because of something they taught you in class. Friends, especially the ones we make in high school or college, have a strong affect on the person we become. This is a huge one. During those eight years we are figuring out who we are and what we stand for and who we are going to be. All of these people help shape who we are for sure. It's so easy to lose touch with these friends after graduation and when life gets busy and gets in the way. But that doesn't mean that you don't think about them and wonder what they're doing and hope that they're ok.

I've kept in touch with a couple of friends, but for the most part I've lost touch with most people who were in my life 20 years ago. In the past couple of years, through Facebook, I have reconnected with a few friends from school who were important in my youth. Oh, make no mistake, I've reconnected with lots of old classmates, but there are a select few who stand out. Who had an impact on my life. Whom I have thought about over the years and always wondered what they're doing and if they're ok. It was only recently, while reconnecting with these special few friends, that I realized what an impact they had on my life and future friendships/relationships. Each of these people affected my life and probably none of them realize to what extent.

Each person in our past is part of a memory. Mostly good. Some bad. All memorable. We carry those memories and those people around with us every day. When we see them or talk with them, the memories--and the feelings surrounding them--resurface. Don't think for a second that you are not part of someone's memories. You are. And for that reason, we all must remember how profoundly we affect each others lives every day.

Pay It Forward

I have so much to write about and so little time, it seems, to get all of my thoughts down in readable form. Frustrating! Regardless, I'm taking time to put these thoughts down 1) because I was reminded this afternoon about something that happened a month ago that prompted this particular blog idea and 2) because I don't feel like doing the other tasks on my list for this afternoon. My blog has become a reason to procrastinate...like I needed a reason.

Back in December, a friend of mine posted on her Facebook page that the woman in front of her at the Starbucks drive-thru generously paid for her order and told the person working at the window to wish her a Merry Christmas. It made her day. The unprompted generosity of this woman brought her to tears. Reading her post, I was moved by the idea. And decided right then that these little acts of kindness needed to become a habit. And not just at Christmas-time. All year round.

I decided to take action. About a week later I was in the drive-thru at McDonald's and decided to act. I paid for the girl behind me's order. The cashier didn't blink twice when I asked if I could do that, making me think that maybe this idea isn't as rare as I thought. I hope not. Waiting in line, looking at the girl in the car behind me, she looked to be about 20, driving a clearly used car and had a school parking sticker in the window. I imagine she was a college student getting her morning breafast and dose of caffeine. She had no idea what was coming and it made me feel pretty good inside knowing that I was about to surprise her with a free breakfast.

A coworker of mine suggested an idea to me for another act. She said that she was driving by our work and saw a group of people standing out on the sidewalk across the street from our building having a smoke break. In the rain. She stopped, got the umbrella out of her back seat and gave it to them. Then drove away. Saw the need and met it.

Randomly, out of the kindness of you heart and without thanks expected in return, we should all see the simple needs in other's lives and meet them. The phrases "pay it forward" and "random act of kindness" have been so overused in our society in recent years that everybody just sort-of blows over them now when we read or hear about them. But if we stop just reading about them and actually perform them, then they become real to us. And you don't have to wait to come across someone stranded with a flat tire on the side of the road. If an opportunity doesn't come along, you can create one of your own. Like I did. Oh we're all so busy and stressed and preoccupied with our own problems!!!! It costs you almost nothing in money or time to do something like this, but it will make you feel like a million bucks--not to mention how it will make your recipient feel. And hopefully they will return the favor to someone they come across. Imagine if everyone started doing these things? Just being aware of other's needs and being thoughtful enough to meet them. Simple, huh?

Starting Over

Ok, so I've had an account here for awhile in order to follow and read my daughter's blogs. AND I've blogged over the years on myspace and posted "notes" on facebook. I decided today that I should have some central place for all of this and so you have this, my first blog here.

Today is a very special day. January 4th will forever be etched in my and Ashley's minds as a wonderful, eventful, fun, amazing day despite it's place smack dab in the middle of the cold of winter. One year ago today, on January 4th, 2009, Ashley and I roadtripped it to Nashville, TN to the historic Ryman Auditorium to see a special one-night only concert dubbed "Jonas Brothers and Friends." Several months prior, I had promised her that I would take her to see the JoBros the next time they toured and right before Christmas they announced this special concert. I suprprised her with tickets that I paid too much for (but like that is anything new) and off we went. Cold, gray and gloomy, we set off in my dad's car warming ourselves with laughter and music all the way down to TN, arguing with "Jen," our Garmin tour guide. No worries, eventually Jen saw things my way and took us right to our hotel in downtown Nashville.

It was warm and rainy. We drove around a bit, visited the Vanderbilt University campus (where we did not get caught by the police trying to break into Memorial Gymnasium), then decided to walk around the music district of Nashville a bit before heading to the auditorium. It was all so colorful and musical. I wish we had had more time to spend there but we were on a tight schedule. Rain-drenched, we stood outside the auditorium waiting for the doors to open and trying to control our hearts everytime a group of girls started screaming for some random reason. Those screams can be pretty unnerving the first few times you hear them. You feel like you're missing out on something fantastic and want to go see! You soon realize that it is either nothing...or by the time you get there, you'll have missed whatever great thing it was that they were screaming at.

When we got inside, we were astounded at how small the place was. AND at how close our seats were. We sat there in anticipation, nearly hyperventilating in the last few minutes before the show started. The concert was amazing. Any words I put down here will simply not do it justice. The boys played lots of their songs, covered several well-known songs including "Superstition" by Stevie Wonder and Tom Petty's "Free Fallin" (be still my heart), and also shared the stage that night with a diverse group of artists. i.e. the "Friends" part. We saw Faith Hill and Tim McGraw and the boys performed with Vince Gill, Amy Grant, Michael W. Smith, Phil Vasser, Martina McBride, Steven Curtis Chapman, Brad Paisley, Jordin Sparks and they introduced the world to the group Honor Society (who knew?). Each person would come out and they all would sing a Jonas Brothers song and a song or two of the guests'.

Ashley and I stood there 28 years apart in age but exactly the same on the inside. Singing and screaming and dancing and enjoying the music and the atmosphere. After the show, we weren't so much sad that it was all over as we were amazed at what we had just seen. We got back to our hotel room, made a few excited phone calls, then lay in bed for probably an hour talking about what we had just experienced.

The early-morning wake up came too soon and bleary-eyed we headed off on our return trip back to IL. Caffeine and music kept us awake and made the trip go by quicker. We have been to lots of concerts together, some close just in Peoria and some hours and hours away like this one and I think that we both agree that the ones that require roadtrips are the best. Yes, you lose sleep and are wiped out the next day, but the road trip there--or sometimes back as my sister Jackie can attest to--oftentimes makes the trip. The concert experience is enhanced by the time together in the car excitedly talking (and singing) in anticipation or talking (and singing) in remembrance.

One year ago today Ashley and I shared what is easily one of the best days of my entire life. Yes, the concert (our first JoBro concert and our introduction to Honor Society) was amazing and unforgettable. However, those 36 hours shared with anyone else simply would not have been the same. It was one of the best days and concerts of my life because I shared it with Ashley. Making memories that we will have with us forever. Ashley, I love you.